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F# A
I've got an ugly face,
E B
With spots all over the place,
F# A
I haven't got any mates,
E B
And me clothes have gone out of date.
F# A
I go to the pub on me own,
E B
And I drink me orange alone,
F# A
I sit and stare at the crack,
E B
But they just turn their backs,
G# C#
I want to chat them up,
F# B
But I stare at me feet,
G# C# F# B
And then I go home and I beat me meat,
G# C# F# B
I'm dead shy about the size of me dick,
D
And chips and gravy make me sick,
F# E C#
I'm a failure with girls I don't know why,
C# B F#
He's a failure with girls He don't know why,
F# E C#
I'm a failure with girls They're so unkind,
C# B F#
He's a failure with girls They're so unkind,
F# E C#
I'm a failure with girls They make me cry,
C# B F#
He's a failure with girls They make hI'm cry,
F# E B
Only wish I could say that I don't mind.
F# A
A Macc Lad said "Sonny take note",
E B
And he poured a pint of bitter down me throat,
F# A
It were the first pint I ever had,
E B
And I changed to a real Macc Lad,
F# A
Me clothes started looking dead flash,
E B
I got a tattoo and a moustache,
F# A
And me car got a go-faster stripe,
E B
And now I pull crack every night,
C# F# B
And I'm not weak anymore,
C# F# B
Cause me dick measures three foot four,
C# F# B
So don't you call me wimp,
G# C#
Cause it's three foot four even when it's limp.
F# E C#
I'm dead macho with girls I never fail,
C# B F#
He's dead macho with girls he nevers fails,
F# E C#
I'm dead macho with girls cause I sup ale,
C# B F#
He's dead macho with girls cause he sups ale,
F# E C#
I'm dead macho with girls thanks to E. Lees,
C# B F#
He's dead macho with girls thanks to E. Lees,
F# E B
Only wish that I didn't have VD.
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