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When I was a kid we’d take a trip, every summer down to Mississip’
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To visit my Grannie and my Auntie Bellum Whirl.
Well, I’d run barefoot all day long, climbing trees as free as a song
And then, one day I caught myself a squirrel.
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Well, I stuffed him down in an ol’ shoe box, an’ punched a couple of holes
in the top
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And when Sunday came along, I snuck him into church.
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Well, I’us sittin’ way back in the very last pew, a’showin him to my good
buddy Hugh
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When that squirrel got loose and went totally bezerk!
Am
What happened next is hard to tell, some thought it was heaven some
thought
it was hell, but the fact that sumptn’s amoung us was plain to tell
As the choir sand "I Surrender All", the squirrel ran up Harv Newman’s
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coveralls; Harv jumped to his feet and said "Sumpn’s got a hol’ a
me!"
Chorus
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The day the squirrel went bezerk in the First Self-Righteous Church,
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In the sleepy little town of Pasquagulla.
It was a fight for survival, that turned up in revival
They were jumpin’ pews and singing "Hallejulia".
Well, Harv hit the aisles a dancin’ and a screamin’
Some thought he had religion, some thought he had a demon,
But Harv thought he had a weed-eater loose in his "fruit of the looms"
He fell to his knees to plead and beg and the squirrel ran out his
britches leg
Unobserved by the other side of the room.
Well, it ran on down to the Amen pew where sat Sister Berthat Better than
you
Who’d been watchin’ all the commotion with sadistic glee.
Well, you should’a seen the look in here eyes when that squirrel jumped
her
garters and crossed her thighs
And she jumped to her feet and said "LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that’d make a sailor blush with shame.
She told of gossip and church dessention, but the thing that got the most
attention
Is when she talked about her love life and started naming names!
Chorus
Well, seven deacons and the pastor got saved and twenty-five thousand
dollars
got raised and fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot.
And even without an invitation, here were at least five hundred
rededications,
and we all got rebaptized wheter we needed it or not.
Now, you’ve heard the Bible story I guess, how God parted the waters so
Moses could pass.
Oh, The miracles God has wroght in this ol’ world
But the one I’ll remember to my dying day, is how He put that church on
the
narrow way
With one hald crazed Mississipi Squirrel.
Chorus
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